i write her an “for your eyes only” note..
you put up an advertisement on how to emote?
i mail the pic of my evening pose
on the side bar-you say how to lose adipose

t-mobile e-mails me my telephone bill..
buy an iPhone your programs profess at will
by your means i exchange a phone number
“vonage” the heartless advertisement murmurs

i “search” (not google) something on water problems
“incontinence cured” ad(non) sense..senses stem
my dad sends a mail..i reply to “appa” back home..
you equate that to “father”..and get messages from rome?

i’ve stopped solving crosswords for now i reverse engineer
recheck what i typed..that this new ad is here
then a mortal fear haunts.. i get gymnophobic
you watch me so long.. don’t you feel sick?

years of governance..placebos pharmacopoeia
all that happened.. was pure inertia
noise at the parliement..adjourned sessions
in the media gossip..note worthy mentions.

you wrote off debts that were never gonna be paid
took credit and were blamed for “loans waived”
then a nu(clear) treaty i could not understad
reservations ..my reservations you would not stand

GDP on paper.. you were talk of the town
what had you done..what credit did you own
soaring interest rates ..you could not contain
now falling currency..you are helpless and maim
terror attacks ..you did well with a sorry face
sorry..but inaction has lost its grace

election time again.. what change is in store
we’ve known you so long..you geriatrics bore
now you’ll show new faces and squander away millions
promise cycles, cellphones and colour televisions
mention temples and mosques and incite the ignorant
watch the communal riots and preach to be tolerant
then make it back to the stage in show time
take back 10 bucks per head for every single dime

and the way we are we will continue
new thugs perhaps but theft won’t be new
why the hell this drama? why this expensive democratic process?
please go on without elections.. we need no political recess

we will take care of the neighbors.atleast their problems will
as for world economy..its no man’s will
agriculture produce will still bank on rain
there will be a sreedharan for the metro train.

fuel prices will rise..we will reply with a greener car
for posterity we will try not leaving a carbon scar
but whatever it is..its we who will do
you are a different species we aren’t amongst you.

the oil touches $40 a barrel,
a break-even would win you laurels.
the computers’ price continue to spiral down
so does index while the herd of bulls frown.
the bullet’s price is what life would cost.
somewhere in this mayhem we are lost.

communications reduce to the tiny little “hand held”
“connecting people” distances hands held
we close doors..we keep “i” to oneself
we open a window.. so much about us knows that elf
who i talk to, who says what to me,what do i want to see
he eavesdrops and peeps at the pretext of information being free

friday arrives ..but no, there isn’t a “thank god”
if on monday there is a place to go..all gratitude is for lord.
strange times we are all living through..
was there worst..will there be better..i have no clue

lets not go into naming what i feel
for that will give wounds that won’t heal
lets not try an fathom.. the depth of what i mean
we’ll witness a reflection..that was better left unseen
lets not dig and imagine the “what if” world away..
lets keep our distance.. we’ll be happy this way

going away.. but why should you care
in whats your vicinity..i was never there
will remain silent.. but whats the difference
my words.. were always devoid of coherence
would go behind clouds..but who will notice
an insiginifican star in night sky..where darkness is bliss
would stop reading.. but then i never did
understand the meanings that your words hid
i look again at my ticket..and see where i’m destined
we just crossed..you were never mine
would go back to sleep… but then i’m scared
dreams donno the truths..that reality has bared

got a bad appetite, unable to digest a “NO”
why should i order one, the answer; when I know.
but guess it finds it way; right to my dinner plate
then ventures up my mouth; itching my palate.

what are they made up of,NOs for an answer i get
do questions fertilize them, more nays, nays beget.
they seem an echo then, of a shriek buried in grave
where were the ayes then, what were the answers you gave?
or was it silence then; not meaning the proverbial consent
my lack of action; is that what you resent?

strong medicine perhaps, but have my taste buds around
i would just close my eyes and take in, just gulp down.
why was i expecting,one inert placebo?
one sugarcoated “yes”..instead of the bitter “NO”.

i dig deep into the ravines of my memory, nothing indian in those ravines has attracted such a worldwide media attention as the “mumbai on war” . first six pages in wsj, 24 hrs in cnn, 24×7 amonng indian gossip mongers.yes, they baked their breads in fire that burnt the victims, saviours and the hotels. under the cloak of feeding news to the obsessive worldwide audience (me included) they went on and on and on.  we, the diners were served a smorgasbord of unverified tid bits, chanced upon gossips, fantasies of “reliable sources” and perhaps some facts while the fury within served as an hors d’oeuvre  to the meal that never arrived. 

the media alone is not the object of my wrath, the people who provided them the ingredients for the potpourri are pretty up my bad book as well. ATS, Mumbai Police, NSG, IB, Home Ministry, State Ministry we just had too many departments dealing with this and everyone of them wanted to catch a beam of limelight with their comments. there were varying statements about the origin of terrorists, the number of them, the armaments they used, the number of victims, the locations etc.

“reliable sources” is now a new cliche in my lexican. a convenient masquerade for an unverified piece of someone’s fantasies. the news channels are afraid that if they do not, someone else will use that piece of gossip to boost their TRP so all of them end up broadcasting a piece of unverified information . could someone sue them for the mis-information they spread?

then to my dismay they end up commending the terrorists. extremely fit, very well trained, ruthless, meticulously in planning, heavily armed, determined and dedicated.. this list of qualities would look good on a military résumé and even if true should not be used to describe those misanthropes. 

i find the modus operandi of the investigation flawed. one must avoid speculation when detailing public on such incandescent matters, either there should be one body heading the investigation or if its the synergic effort of the spectrum of bureaucracy they should have one common media spokesperson who would update the media.the public should be given an admissable ETA of the investigation report update and the spokesperson should hold a press conference on such date. each official must be sworn to secrecy.

the arrested terrorist’s statements are being taken as gospel truth and someone or the other seems to be coming running to the media after every sentence he blurts. the number of terrorists have a mode of 10,median of 12, an upper extreme of 26, they may or may not have local support (is there another possibility). the list of varying revelations have been endless.

India needs an equivalent of Guantanamo from which general public and media are quarantined, the entire investigation must be done from there. the culprits when caught must be made examples , an object of terror to anyone who imagines doing such an act . the human rights organisations if making noise must be silenced in that regard.

if there has been an internal support for these kind of activities we must digout the reasons. if the reasons have roots in past government(’s) (in)action, visible steps must be made to correct them. if the reasons are religious we must even go to the extent of decalring india as athiest rather secular and it must be made clear to people that nothing on religious ground would be tolerated; if there economic incentives for such disloyalty; the treasonists must be treated at par with the terrorists. perhaps another time i would try going into what i think could be the incentive/trigger for disloyalty.

i could see it in her eyes..a well acquainted fear..
ghosts of past chasing as halloween was near
guilt?? no.. repentance would be the word..
an aching pain inside..to her alone heard..

i identified her face..and i could identify with her
and condone her jay-walking..break rules she won’t adhere
Cris-cross the four blocks..to the dismay of the motorist
guess she was in a hurry..a client she had to assist

oh these silly morons.. the money monger bankers
one moment of application surprise and they go bonkers
call up everyone reachable and voice-mail for the rest
i had been in her shoes.. i could sense the unrest

i kept pace with the blond and my eyes did convey the “hi”
she was devoid of american niceties..i didn’t incite a reply
and we reached the final lap..and our signal said go..
and “go” she did like an olympian with last 10 yards or so

she paced herself to the elevator bank.. ignoring the concierge’s hello
pale she was as it is.. with the closing doors she went yellow
back she went to the concierge… guess to correct her rude mistake
and politely asked for the restroom keys..few calls you have to take

have been polite, have been subtle,
masquerading the lack of mettle
have lied to self, been loud to convince
over n over tried to rinse.

have been harsh..tried being direct
pushed them off the mental precinct
explained the truth to the seemingly obtuse
ended up having one less option to choose

measured up the soul..started off from scratch
at every turn found the lurking catch
used up brute force..hard rebooted the machine
blinded my eyes to the chaos to be seen

turned off the light.. to lose you in dark
opportunity you sensed.. and made your mark
now on my knees, hoping for the “cya”
do me a favor, go away will ya..